How Much of Drinking is Habit vs Craving

wpid-wp-1436112807377.jpeg Day 6 of Dry July begins!

Yesterday on the way home from work, I caught myself wondering if I should stop at 7-11, or drive over to Circle K. For beer. Wait, what?? As I drove on home without stopping, it was really clear just how much of my particular drinking is habit, as I never actually crave alcohol. Get off work, stop at the store and buy beer. That is the most common habit, mainly because my job, while fun and interesting, can be incredibly draining at times. Working in a metaphysical shop has a huge allure, but in reality the rallying cry of “What does it mean?!?!” from the majority of customers can, in time, drive one a bit batty. “It is what it is” just isn’t what they want to hear in reply, so digging deep to remember in which book you read why a candle flame leans left instead of right (the obvious, “maybe there’s a draft” is met with disdain), or trying to find the perfect crystal for an ailment when you’ve absolutely NO idea what will help…this takes a lot out of you. It’s not all tarot decks and cool books, let me tell you. 😉

Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. I have two wonderful bosses, great customers, I get to play with cool things…but there are many days where the thought of beer is what gets me through til closing. I feel lucky in the fact that I don’t, and never have, physically craved alcohol – there have never been dt’s, thankfully; just habit. All in my head, quite frankly. It’s astonishing what our thoughts can lead us to do, isn’t it? Watching tv doesn’t help, either, let me tell you; alcohol is every where!!

And there are, of course, other habits that lead to drinking too: stressful day? Drink. Sunny day? Drink. Day off? Drink. Hanging with friends? Drink. Meet a new boy/girl friend? Celebrate! Break up with new boy/girl friend? Drink away the woe. The list goes on. Society and the media have gotten many of us in a habit-led rut, that’s for sure.

It’s the same with food; how many of us can’t eat a hamburger without fries? I can’t eat a tuna – or grilled cheese – sandwich without potato chips. It feels incomplete, which is all habit. Habit leads us in ways we don’t even realize; how we react to people and situation, how we dress, responses we give (“Awesome”…who says awesome without thinking to just about every single thing now?)…the list goes on.

So along with raising funds for breast cancer, this month is, for me, about catching that drinking habit and nipping it in the bud, and seeing how things are by the end of the month. It’s going to be an interesting ride!

Oh, before I forget – the last two posts were filled with a bit of seriousness, and yesterday’s has news for my FB and G+ followers (and now Tumblr, too), so please check out Saturday and Sunday’s blogs!

And now I leave you with someone that had me absolutely rolling with laughter. It’s uncensored, so probably not safe for work. And let me just say, it’s not just white women in their 20’s. 😉

©Pip Miller – July 2015

News Flash

Morning!

First off: I made it through yesterday with flying colors. I don’t remember the thought of drinking crossing my mind more than once, and then it was gone. And sleep, oh, sleep…I’m out like a light once I fall asleep. Last night our neighborhood literally sounded like a war zone and it took forever to be able to sleep. I’m still tired.

Now the news: my computer has been acting up quite a lot of late – New Mexico is dust central, and we have original crank windows in this house (which means even closed, there are still cracks). The two together means that the corner where I am sitting (next to a window because there’s no where else I can put the computer) is a lovely dust magnet. I tore the computer apart and cleaned it, but the dust is relentless and I’m sure that’s what’s causing the problem. Add to that the fact that I will be working a LOT (like 7 days a week for some of it) between the end of the month and September, and it all equals less time online.

by ivy_icons on LJI plan to blog (I can do it from my phone if all else fails) the rest of #dryjuly4breastcancer, and now that I’ve gotten back into the hang of stress-free, ‘this is my life’ blogging, I’ll keep it up. Maybe daily, maybe not. The point is, blogging and Twitter (and Instagram…I love Instagram!) will be the easiest things for me to do on my phone, and with less time, the rest will fall pretty much to the wayside for a while. I won’t be forwarding blog posts to G+ and FB, because then people reply there instead of here, and I won’t have time to check them; instead it would be great if (assuming you want to keep reading!) you’d follow me here on WP, or Bloglovin’, Feedly, or just by email.

I hope you decide to follow along, because I really do enjoy stress-free blogging, and I’ll even throw in a freebie or two of energy healing along the way. 😉 I DO still do energy healing, though I’ve been focused here on Dry July and breast cancer research. In fact, doing remote energy healing gives me such a wonderful feeling and helps relax me (how could helping others NOT be relaxing?!)…that will benefit my Dry July goal, too. 🙂

Anyway…off to work. Enjoy your day!!

©Pip Miller – July 2015

 

Holidays, Drinking, and Donations

by https://unsplash.com/kelleybozarth

It’s the 4th, as everyone knows, and holidays seem to be more about getting soused than celebrating the actual reason we have the holiday, am I right? Everything you see and watch gives the impression that one cannot fully enjoy a holiday without a drink in one’s hand…well, I’m here today to do just that.

The past 3 days have been…well, they’ve been. Yesterday I rounded the corners on two decks with trimmed borders, and then I spent most of the afternoon trimming my DruidCraft tarot (pictures are on Instagram, and wow, what a difference in size and look!!!!).  Having something to do really helped when the thoughts of drowning myself in alcohol crossed my mind; I was able to notice how the feeling ebbed and flowed and the same for the intense emotions that caused the desire ( I also noticed how often the thought of drinking to deal with various thoughts and situations crossed my mind). We really – well, I really – do let emotions drive reactions, and if the instantaneous reaction is removed, the control of the emotions is lessened.

I’ve know this, we all read about it, yet putting it into practice isn’t always easy. It will be interesting to see how stepping back will play out over the month.

breast cancerOn a serious note, again, the whole point of this Dry July is NOT about me not drinking for a month, it’s to raise money for breast cancer. I am saving what I would have normally spent on alcohol and am going to donate it at the end of the month (considering my salary, the amount is astonishing when I add it up in my head). I’ve been watching my friend’s donation page, and I haven’t seen any new donations and this makes me sad. A fund-raiser to get a new online sci-fi series garnered millions in days, and kickstarters are raising funds every day, yet something as serious as a breast cancer walk is barely getting a drop. Why is that? Is it because being able to watch something like said series or having a concrete item in hand once the kickstarter goes through gives a feeling of ‘a bang for your buck’, whereas donating to research that may one day help someone but at the moment gives you, yourself, nothing concrete in return doesn’t?

Without the funds, research can go no where. Research for my essential tremor relies on donations, as does research for every single disease, cancer, and affliction there is. All mental health issues, all the one-in-a-million cancers no one has ever heard of…every single one of them. And no, you don’t seem to get a return on your investment, but someone does. And even if that someone is the only person in the entire world who does, do they not deserve a chance? Don’t we all know of someone who has died of breast cancer? Don’t we all know someone who is now undergoing treatment for it and is fighting daily for his or her life? Don’t they deserve the chance for better treatments that come about from the research that is made possible by your donation?

So please, while you’re reading along and checking out my Instagram pictures (lots of tea, lol!)…take the time to donate. Every little bit helps, even $5. Plus, my friend has been training really, really hard for this walk (and if you knew her from back when, you’d be just as amazed and proud of her as I am). It would be so sad if she didn’t meet her goal and was unable to participate, so let’s kick it up and get her over that goal!

And thank you, from the bottom of my heart, because hell, every single one of us has the chance of getting cancer, and that includes me. And if it happens that I do one day contract it, well, I want to thank all of you ahead of time for the treatments that will give me a fighting chance. And if it’s you, I will be so happy to have been of help before you knew you needed it.

©Pip Miller – July 2015

 

It taxes me…

denialUgh. Every single time I decide to stop drinking, for whatever reason, the universe sends me a test. Sometimes it’s a little test, sometimes it’s a real pain in the ass…and sometimes it tears me down in order to – hell, I don’t even know what. It sucks and it hurts, and yesterday it threw that kind of test at me again.

Actually, it’s kind of obvious why it throws that particular test at me; it’s showing me things for which alcohol has been used as rose-colored glasses. Things that will keep rearing their ugly heads more and more as the number of dry days grows. And it wants to see if I’m going to be able to take them on without succumbing to the pull of those rose-colored glasses.

I did. And I will. Because raising money for breast cancer research is more important than numbing a bit of pain. And, for those who are not aware of it, the sugar in alcohol (that includes the carbs in beer) actually FEEDS breast cancer, and can be the cause of it in some women. So let’s see: numb the pain, feed a cancer…nah, that doesn’t sound appealing. So I’ll live the pain, and work through it. And hope that you’ll continue to donate and spread the word about Dry July, which will give me the incentive to make it through #dryjuly4breastcancer, and help those who have (and those who will discover they have) breast cancer.

We can do this, together!!!

©Pip Miller – July 2015

Happy Earth Day!

earth-dayBYkehleyr_icons Yep, it’s the day we have once a year to remind us to be good to Mama; she’s the only one we have.

And to celebrate, I’m running a limited-time special! It’s a package of three 30-minute sessions for $75;, which is $15 off!! They can be used 3 days in a row, once a week for 3 weeks, or even once a month for 3 months – totally your call! And remember, all monies will be donated to my friend Tamara’s Avon 39 Walk.

Take advantage of this lowered price, and help fund breast cancer research, too!

In other news, I’ve had to set a boundary (and I feel awful about it): I am no longer doing free sessions unless you have purchased two or more sessions from me. It really hurts to draw that line, but one cannot pay bills and purchase groceries on thanks, sadly. I hope you understand!

©Pip Miller – April 2015

How Do YOU Worry?

I’m still working with bits and pieces of “Write It Down, Make It Happen, which I mentioned in a previous post, and one of the chapters is called ‘Addressing Fears and Challenges’. In it she writes about someone who used her journal to write about a huge goal she had made for herself (“I want to go live in Europe, and travel in Europe”), never neglecting the fears that went along with that goal.

by leirda

Klauser writes that, “Her journal became a place to park her worries. Writing out her fears spared her “either/or” thinking. Fears and ambition could coexist.”, and that, “Writing made her feelings speed bumps, not roadblocks. Feelings might slow down her pace, but not stand in her way.”

I found this chapter to be of particular interest as I found myself not writing in my journal very often any more because I’ve been trying to ‘be more positive’, ‘focus on gratitude’, and a lot of other ‘shoulds’, that, while merited, are sometimes overwhelmingly ‘fluffy bunny’  and…stifling.

We do not exist in a world that is only filled with positive things, and to deny the existence of the negative is to essentially close our eyes to half of ourselves. NO one, not one single person on the planet, is positive all the time (not even the Dalai Lama, I’ll bet you), and if we pretend those sad, scared, normal feelings aren’t there, it just makes them bigger in the long run. You can’t brush them under the carpet, so to speak, because somehow, some way, they show will up and sometimes it’s in ways you can’t ignore (like an illness).

We have to allow ourselves the freedom, without fear of reprimand, to express ourselves fully so that we can release what’s inside and go on with our lives. Free the journals!! 😉 I have a button that says, “Kick at the darkness until it bleeds light”…we need more in-our-journals kicking, don’t you think?002

That’s a collection of some of my old journals, in which there is much whinging, but also joy. And some really bad poetry. 😉 Without those journals, I’d have been a quivering mess of fears and shyness, and most likely living in a cave somewhere, too afraid to step out into the world. Those journals helped me get it all out, leaving room in my head to notice the little things that made my days better, and I will always be thankful that I first started writing in one way back in high school.

Not long ago I’d purchased a spiral 5 subject notebook (I use them the most anymore, plus, it has a hummingbird on the cover -sticker ©Jody Bergsma!), and I’ve barely written anything in it at all. There’s always a lot on my mind, swirling and bouncing and keeping me slightly just this side of crackers, but I’ve been too afraid to write it down and “put it out there to the universe”. I need to get it out, and I’m sure the universe will understand and not create 7 levels of hell for me because of it. 😉

Do you write freely in your journal, or have you found that you’ve been stifling yourself, too?

©Pip Miller – April 2015

PS: a reminder that I am donating all monies from purchased sessions to my friend’s Avon 39 Walk. The walk is in September, so this will be going on at least until July. Help yourself, and help others, too!