Dry Life · Journal

Laters, Alcohol!

Oh, the number of times I’ve said that in the last couple decades. And each time, I mean them, totally and completely.

My addicted brain, on the other hand, has a different agenda.

I’ve written about stopping in the past, and then ended up making the posts private or deleting them when the addiction “won”. I was mortified that I’d “failed” again, when in reality, the alcohol was just doing it’s primary job; keeping me addicted. I know I shouldn’t be ashamed of drinking; the well-worn tracks leading from “And then something would happen. Or nothing would happen.”* to drinking are deep in an imbiber’s brain, and training myself to bypass that automatic journey and create new tracks isn’t easy. Ask any drinker who swears “never again” at 3 a.m., and then is downing the drink of choice by 5 or 6 p.m., if not earlier.

Alcohol rewires our brain, and it excels at doing so.

Very soon I’ll turn 58, and begin my 59th year of life. (Excuse me while I faint at the thought of that – I’m still a teenager in my head). Maybe by writing about it more often and making the journey a part of my online presence will help, who knows. I just know I’m so over the struggle.

A lot of people do a Dry January, and then there’s the big one that I believe started it all, Dry July. There are hashtags for other months, too, but those are the only ones I can think of at the moment – how about #MocktailMarch? After the month is over, some go back to drinking, using that dry month as a sort of detox and reset, and then there are the others who decide to stay sober for good.

I’ve wanted that for so, so long. I’d make it a varying number of days or weeks, read endless books and blogs, even tried AA (not my cup of tea), and then I’d end up watching Intervention and Celebrity Rehab with a beer in hand, cryingโ€ฆ.

I vehemently dislike the concept that have 15 years under your belt (or any amount of alcohol-free days) belt, drink one beer, and suddenly you’re supposed to go back to Day 1. Not cool. That negates all the hard work done to achieve those 15 years, and by dismissing them, it just makes the person want to keep drinking because why the hell not, right? I won’t be counting days as it has screwed me up too many times before. Hence the beer in hand, crying.

I’m teetotaling up, and if you want to come along for the ride,

here’s a few things that might interest you:

There’s a plethora of sober bloggers out there, and a large number of Quit Lit books that have resulted from those blogs. I admit it, some of those books make me want to grab a glass of wine (not my go-to drink) simply because they wax on about it so much. And then there’s the occasional “I’ve been sober 7 days, lost 15 lbs, my chronic acne is completely gone, I just ran my first 5K, and I’m cooking at a Michelin chef 5-star level, too!” Bullshit. Run from those. Think fake influencer. You definitely don’t need anything that is going to make you feel like you’re not succeeding, when any day you don’t drink is a roaring success in and of itself.

-Aside: I do wish there were more than the occasional blog from someone still living with an active daily drinker. It’s not an excuse, but it’s really hard to shut off my addicted brain when there is always a beer in view. Extremely hard. It makes it very easy for that voice to convince me that it really doesn’t matter if I drink or not, so why not drink if everyone else is, ok? Add in the alcohol industry’s bombardment through the media and nearly every tv show and movie, aimed at telling and showing us how wonderful it is to drink (until you get drunk or overdo it, then you’re somehow the problem) and it’s almost a lost cause from the get-go.

The book that first gave me the most information about alcohol and its addiction is Under the Influence. An older book, but still very valid and enlightening.

The first “how to stop” I read was The Small Book, which is about AVR, something that newer authors have built on and incorporated into their own guides.

One of my favorite quit lit books is The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, and another is Between Drinks by a former professional drinker in Australia.

If you’re curious about AA, Russell Brand has a unique take on the program which he writes about in Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions. There’s also One Breathe at a Time and The 12-Step Buddhist for those with a view towards Eastern spirituality.

Belle has a 100-day challenge on her site, Tired of Thinking About Drinking, and Annie Grace has a book with a 30-day challenge, as well as other resources on her website, This Naked Mind.

I recently discovered that Twitter has a hashtag community, RecoveryPosse, filled with support and promoted books about sobriety authors. I know Instagram has a sobriety community, too.

Welcome aboard, and here’s to leaving alcohol behind!

Much love,

Pip ๐Ÿ˜Ž

PS: If you’ve followed me for a while and you’ve heard this all before, imagine how it feels to be in my shoes, or any other drinker struggling with this addiction. ๐Ÿ™

PPS: For those wondering, no, I’ve never sent light while under the influence. That would be unethical as hell, and I respect (and am in awe of) what I do too much to mess with it like that.

PPPS: I almost didn’t post this today. I wrote it yesterday and in the middle of the night had a panic attack, wondering “what if I don’t succeed? I don’t want to be embarrassed again!”, and “Does anyone need to know this? Does anyone really care?” and took it off pre-scheduling. It won’t leave me alone, though, so here it is, for all the world to read. ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

*Quote from 28 Days.

Energy Healing · Journal

My heart is singing

I had to share this! And yes, my Twitter account had a different name for a bit. ๐Ÿ™‚

Makes this crappy news day SO wonderful!!!

And in not great news, did you see this about 4 fully-vaccinated people in Oregon contracting Covid? Not unexpected, but also not good news. And then there’s this thread about the WHO stating that people who have had Covid CAN get re-infected with the new strains.

Please, please, please continue to wear masks (double up as recommended by the CDC), stay away from others, and for the love of life, don’t eat inside restaurants!

With love,

Pip

PS: If you already don’t know what I do, check here!

Journal

This is me not screaming

Well, maybe a little.

Working on the website and discovered the Bloglovin’ and Feedly links were incorrect and decided…why didn’t anyone stop me?…to fix them. 30 minutes and a lot of swearing later, Feedly is gone (one follower and I couldn’t figure out how to do anything but delete it), Bloglovin’ is fixed and updated, and my stress level is through the roof.

My guy keeps telling me “you’re so intelligent, you can figure anything out”; lovely sentiment but far from the truth. IT stuff drives me insane. SEO, ROI, RSS…jibberish. I mean, I know what they mean, just; I think it’s that I don’t really care. I’m not that interested, so I don’t put in the effort to learn deeply what and how. Which, of course, bites me in the ass when it comes to marketing myself and behaving on Twitter and using Instagram as a selling tool instead of random photos that I think others might like. I just want to have fun with it all, and help people feel better along the way. I don’t think that’s such a leap, do you?

Speaking of helping people, I’ve noticed a trend of people that get severe vertigo which is sometimes accompanied by sinus problems, sometimes by full-on “are you sure it’s not Covid cuz I know the test says no, but damn!” symptoms. I’m wondering if it’s something to do with a new variant, and asked someone on Twitter (waiting for a response).

How is YOUR day going?

With love,

Pip ๐Ÿ™‚

ยฉPip Miller – February 2021

Books · Journal · Misc

Podcasts: fan or no?

I haven’t been a fan, but since I stopped drinking I needed something to help with that little voice in my head, and I didn’t want to dive back into audiobooks. So podcasts.

I’ve found some I like, and some that while I want to hear the content, drive me nuts because the podcaster invites guests to discuss things, but then interrupts and talks about ‘me, me, me’ over and over again. If that’s what you’re going to do, do like Leonie Dawson and just ramble whatever comes to mind and skip the guests. It works great for her.

Do you have any podcasts you really enjoy? Let me know so I can give them a try!

Oh, speaking of audiobooks, if you haven’t listen to Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. The book is soooooooooooooooo good, so timely, and her voice is amazing. I’m not linking to Amazon, because not everyone uses Audible, and Bezos donated to The Rule of Law, which funded the Capitol takeover. You can listen to it on Hoopla if you’d prefer. I love Hoopla.

We’ve got a storm coming in, which usually means we don’t get much precipitation, but everywhere around us does. It’s cold, though. January cold. Which is nice because I’ve been walking around in short-sleeves and we’ve had the front door open almost every day. Even in the high desert, this isn’t normal for January.

I spent the day running a few errands, picked up The Starless Sea at a local bookstore (the blurb had me at “…a mysterious book…”, and sending light. The light was for a gamut of ailments, and it was, as always, amazing to be able to help people (and Crackers the horse) feel better, even if it’s only for a while.

It was a good day.

How was yours?

Much love,

Pip ๐Ÿ™‚

ยฉPip Miller – January 2021

Journal

Sometimes you just have to step away

I’ve always been that person who capitalizes post titles, but I think I’m over it. Just sayin’.

Anyway…I peeked into Twitter a couple times today, found out more about what happened Wednesday, more about what is planned for the inauguration (they really, really shouldn’t hold it outside), and then I stepped away. It’s too much. That old Chinese curse came to mind, as it does so frequently, and interesting times no longer hold any interest for me. Quiet and calm, that’s what my goal is.

Thing is, there is so much that needs to change, so much that needs to be addressed…and if not now, when? There are deep, SO deep, underlying issues that have been swept under the rug and ignored or joked away for centuries, as well as newer issues that require lights shone (shined?) on them so the same thing doesn’t happen to them. It’s the 21st century, a time in which one would think we would be beyond the issues that are raising their ugly heads in such a way that they can no longer be ignored. We have come so far in so many ways, such as technology, but in others we may as well be back at the beginning, and that’s sad. No, not sad: reprehensible. The fact that humans (ok, let’s be real: white people) have refused to evolve in ways that matter the most, that they have willingly continued to toe the patriarchal and racist lines for centuries…that’s inexcusable.

I freely admit that as a white woman, I was unaware of my white privilege – I didn’t even realize there was such at thing. And that ignorance doesn’t excuse me. I should have been more aware. We all should have. It’s not like we live in individual plastic bubbles, only aware of what is presented to us. No, we live in the world, with the ability to read books and newspapers and websites that show in start reality how things really are.

I don’t know that I’m making any sense. There are so many thoughts going through my head, and putting them in order isn’t really happening.

So even though we may need to take a break from the internet here and there, we also need to remember that that is a luxury; that racism and all other issues** that create an “other” are being dealt with 24/7/365 by many, many people in the world. And it’s our duty as white people to change that*.

Much love,

Pip

*Yes, I’m aware that these issues are not exclusive to white people, but in context of what’s been happening in the United States, we are the problem.

** “issues” isn’t the word I want, but the correct one eludes me. Issues it too…gentle.

Journal

What the…

Hell just happened today?

Is it a surprise? No, not to anyone paying attention. Have they been saying for years what the plan was? Yep. Is it over? Nope.

Everything else I had in my head to write about today is of no importance right now.

Catcha on the flip side.

Be safe.

Pip

Journal · Nature · Social Media

Tuesday

It’s getting cold and windy outside, but earlier I went to pick up cat food in a short-sleeved shirt. In January. This has bee the most un-wintery winter yet, and it’s sad to know that’s not going to change.

The roadrunners showed up as usual, sunning themselves in the yard after the cold night. When their wings are spread and you see them from the back, they’re tiny! I love it when they raise the feathers on top of their heads.

They like to sit on the chair and look in the window; drives the cat absolutely NUTS. ๐Ÿ˜‚ Yes, I need to wash the windows.

One of my friends online contracted Covid and I’ve been sending her light. She says it helps her sleep, and helps a bit with her lungs and sinuses, too. I wish I could do a session or two and cure people, but that’s out of my wheelhouse. At least I can do a little to help alleviate the situation.

Today’s the 4th day without my evening stress-relief, beer. I stopped in December for a while, but also started eating plant-based, nearly vegan, and it was too much, especially when the iron supplements I’m taking kicked my ass. Those things are brutal, with or without food. I’m really over drinking, and am determined to succeed. I’ve been posting some things on my Instagram account, and followed some sober feeds for inspiration. I still have mixed feelings about Instagram (Zuck, man….jeez), but some of the communities there are wonderful and helpful. Plus, pretty pictures for the win.

Speaking of social media, I’m staying off Twitter tomorrow. The insanity is at a new level and I can’t bear to watch what that man is doing to our democracy with the help of his lackeys. If he succeeds by some stretch of what-the-hell tomorrow, I don’t want to learn about it til the next day. It won’t change anything, but at least I’d have one last day of semi-peace, right?

And now, I’m off to listen to podcasts and set up my planner for next week.

Be safe and wear a mask!

Much love,

Pip

Books · Energy Healing · Journal · Misc · Planners

Choosing A Word For 2021

Picking a guiding word for the year is something I’ve done for a while now. Last year I decided to go with a feeling, lighthearted, and quite frankly, this year has left the vast majority of us feeling anything but, am I right?

Normally I just wait til a word pops into my head that feels right, and I go with that. Thing is, I also don’t really do anything to help that word along. Not this year!

I use Passion Planners, which come with a Roadmap to help you focus on and achieve your goal. December hit me hard and I’ve been super depressed. Rereading The Desire Map seemed the thing to do, and Bing! Lightbulb! Feelings, not goals. How do I want to feel next year and more importantly, how can I make it happen? I dropped the gamechanger part of it, choosing instead to focus on all 4 important emotions that compromised my core desired feeling: Light.

It’s not easy finding a picture to represent what I mean by light…

Light? Didn’t I choose lighthearted last year? I did. Is there a difference? Honestly, not much. The world is too heavy right now, and as any empath can tell you, it’s suffocating. Anything that isn’t heavy is how I want to feel, so light, light-hearted…same difference.

I scribbled all over my current planner’s Roadmap, which I never filled out, sifting through words and what would help me feel light, and finally, finally, narrowed it down to Delight, Comforted (a big one), Peaceful, and the hardest one to pin down, Financially Secure and Independent. I’d first chosen “like I make a difference”, and that is a part of it, but mostly I want to work for myself, helping others feel better. Which is a way to make a difference, so yay.

Then came the important part. What will help me feel each of those 4 feelings? Under Comforted I have “my journal, fleece as much as possible (soft soothes me), special treats such as hot chocolate and ice cream”. Nothing major, but little things I can focus on weekly to make sure I stay in the Light lane and don’t veer off into the No Eating for a Week and All I Want to Do is Sleep lane again. I’m still not out of that one yet, to be honest.

I’m still fine-tuning it and haven’t transferred it to my new planner. I feel good about it. I hope next year is better because of it.

Do you choose a word? What method do you use to do so, and have you ever felt the need to repeat one because it means so much to you? Let’s chat in the comments! I’m curious how others go about this.

Happy Yule!!!!

With hope and much love,

Pip ๐Ÿ˜Ž

PS: This holiday season is possibly one of the most difficult most of us have ever gone through. Stress and anxiety are an important part of my work; check out what I can help you with!

Energy Healing · Journal

How Holistic Healing Can Help

At work, in my office

I’ve been doing multiple sessions on some people (and Crackers!) for a while now, and today Suzanne sent me this:

Dear Pip,

I count you as one of my blessings and I’m so grateful you’ve taken me on as a client for multiple, recurring sessions. Sometimes, like last night, I don’t realize you’ve sent me light in the day, because I don’t check the message until later, and then I sleep through the night, waking up only once for the bathroom versus nights when I wake up 4 or 5 times.

Your work has benefited me for certain. I wish I could quantify it so it’s less woo woo, but frankly, just because something’s subtle doesn’t mean it’s not powerful. What’s more, neither my doctors nor I can quantify whether the new injectable biologic (once monthly) asthma drug or the new intravenous infusion (twice yearly) of ferritin pulled me out of the drain I was circling this summer. And what surprised me is, they don’t care! They say, As long as you feel better, let’s keep doing it. I haven’t told them about you because, you know. But you channeling focused bonus Light from The Source is definitely a big part of this sustained upswing.

Thank you, again, for everything.

My heart is so happy right now. ๐Ÿ’–

Much love, and stay safe,

Pip

PS: You can get your own session (or sessions) right here!

Journal

Gratitude Magic and An Old Horse

It’s been a while. Again. There’s been a lot going on around the old homestead that has us in a heightened state of stress since the end of August – and with my stress level already at ‘screaming into the void’ because of politics and Covid-19, you can imagine how the past weeks have been.

How have I managed not to run screaming into the night? First and foremost, an elderly horse. A fellow Browncoat, Diane, has two horses, one who is 29 (I had NO idea horses live that long, and he’s a mini, so could potentially make it to 45 or 50!) and has health problems. I’ve sent light to him in the past, and Diane asked me to help again at the beginning of October. Honestly, her feedback that he’s growing stronger and has more of his frisky attitude makes my day, and the plan to send him light in the mornings so he has an easier day is the main reason I don’t hermit and stay in bed til noon to avoid the endless circus of stress monkeys in my head.

Crackers the horse

Second, something I read in a Llewellyn yearly almanac a few years ago popped into my head. An author, Dallas Jennifer Cobb, had “practices gratitude magic” in her bio, and the phrase stuck with me, but faded into the background over time. I don’t know why it decided to pop up its head last week, but it did, and I sat down and asked myself how one would do that, what would make that a particular thing?

I’ve come up with 4 items so far, one is to “give thanks for unknown blessings already on the way” within context of lighting candles, making that a part of the intention/request so that it’s not a plea, so to speak, but an act of acknowledgement that the Universe is on the job. I’m not describing this correctly…it’s not about directing the Universe, but letting it do what needs to be done and giving thanks that it will be what is needed. So I might light a candle and say, “Thank you for helping us get through this stressful time with our sanity intact” and not ask for a specific way for that to happen, or “Thank you for sending the perfect person to help with ____, they made the entire situation so much easier!” and stepping back and letting that person show up. Something like that. I know this is far from new, but for some reason it’s what I need now.

How are you dealing with the world these days? Has anything helpful pinged on your radar? What is it, and how are you incorporating it into your life? Comment and let us know!

With hope,

Pip ๐Ÿ™‚

PS: One particular item I wrote down was that is is not all about positivity. Everything is not light and sunny and unicorns farting rainbows, and to ignore the shadow side of life is like trying to ignore that the sun goes down everyday. It doesn’t work.