I’ve been doing to card spreads, asking some important questions, and the answer keeps coming up the same. I did a final spread this morning (a simple yes/no one, the creator of which I’d never know until I found this post) and I pulled 3 aces. I don’t use the Magician as they do in that post, just Aces as my yes.
I’ve tried to let go in the past, but my heart is to invested in the help I can give. So instead of completely letting go, I created a Ko-fi page which I will use as a sort of mini-blog/Twitter combo – maybe with a bit of Insta thrown in, and I won’t be blogging here anymore. The website will stay as my anchor (though the domain expires next month and I think it will revert to thishobbitslife), but I’m letting the dream of making healing my life’s work (and financial support).
Why? I was texting a friend earlier today, and the answer just flowed out of my fingers: “So I need an income from elsewhere. Might not be a bad thing, actually. Wanting healing to support me financially has taken the fun out of helping others and put the focus on making money.“ Reminds me of something in Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.
“I held on to those other sources of income for so long because I never wanted
to burden my writing with the responsibility of paying for my life.”
And, lo, what did I do? Exactly that. I loved helping others so much that I assumed it was the way to make my living. And when the money dried up, my enthusiasm to help didn’t go away, but stress came into the picture and I lost the drive to blog and tweet and, well, anything more than send light, honestly. I did hundreds of free sessions – not a single one of which do I regret – but because I tied them with income, worrying about all the money I was “losing” kept me up nights. I didn’t like thinking that way about my life’s path at all.
I can never, ever, give up sending light, but the stress that came from marketing myself (abysmally) is gone since my decision to drop it all. I feel wonderful…and ready to get back to doing what I love.
PS: if you know of any great ways to make money from home, let me know, ok? I’ve tried Upwork, but with little success.
PPS: I may be writing a bit about being a caregiver on Ko-fi, too. Another thing that didn’t really fit on this website.
PPPS: Why back to “The Healing Hobbit”? Because I always loved that name. It is who I am in a nutshell. I won’t change my Twitter username, but Insta is changed. Not cohesive? Oh, well. I’m over analytics and ROI and all that jazz. The only thing that matters is helping the world feel better, working from home, and taking care of my guy.