I’m still working with bits and pieces of “Write It Down, Make It Happen, which I mentioned in a previous post, and one of the chapters is called ‘Addressing Fears and Challenges’. In it she writes about someone who used her journal to write about a huge goal she had made for herself (“I want to go live in Europe, and travel in Europe”), never neglecting the fears that went along with that goal.
Klauser writes that, “Her journal became a place to park her worries. Writing out her fears spared her “either/or” thinking. Fears and ambition could coexist.”, and that, “Writing made her feelings speed bumps, not roadblocks. Feelings might slow down her pace, but not stand in her way.”
I found this chapter to be of particular interest as I found myself not writing in my journal very often any more because I’ve been trying to ‘be more positive’, ‘focus on gratitude’, and a lot of other ‘shoulds’, that, while merited, are sometimes overwhelmingly ‘fluffy bunny’ and…stifling.
We do not exist in a world that is only filled with positive things, and to deny the existence of the negative is to essentially close our eyes to half of ourselves. NO one, not one single person on the planet, is positive all the time (not even the Dalai Lama, I’ll bet you), and if we pretend those sad, scared, normal feelings aren’t there, it just makes them bigger in the long run. You can’t brush them under the carpet, so to speak, because somehow, some way, they show will up and sometimes it’s in ways you can’t ignore (like an illness).
We have to allow ourselves the freedom, without fear of reprimand, to express ourselves fully so that we can release what’s inside and go on with our lives. Free the journals!! 😉 I have a button that says, “Kick at the darkness until it bleeds light”…we need more in-our-journals kicking, don’t you think?
That’s a collection of some of my old journals, in which there is much whinging, but also joy. And some really bad poetry. 😉 Without those journals, I’d have been a quivering mess of fears and shyness, and most likely living in a cave somewhere, too afraid to step out into the world. Those journals helped me get it all out, leaving room in my head to notice the little things that made my days better, and I will always be thankful that I first started writing in one way back in high school.
Not long ago I’d purchased a spiral 5 subject notebook (I use them the most anymore, plus, it has a hummingbird on the cover -sticker ©Jody Bergsma!), and I’ve barely written anything in it at all. There’s always a lot on my mind, swirling and bouncing and keeping me slightly just this side of crackers, but I’ve been too afraid to write it down and “put it out there to the universe”. I need to get it out, and I’m sure the universe will understand and not create 7 levels of hell for me because of it. 😉
Do you write freely in your journal, or have you found that you’ve been stifling yourself, too?
©Pip Miller – April 2015
PS: a reminder that I am donating all monies from purchased sessions to my friend’s Avon 39 Walk. The walk is in September, so this will be going on at least until July. Help yourself, and help others, too!